The Passionate Shepherd vs. The Nymph

So now continuing with our theme of unrequited love, we move on to The Passionate Shepherd by Christopher Marlowe ( you know, that guy who was stabbed) and The Nymph's Reply ( you know that guy who was also killed). So basically what happens is that a shepherd, who happens to be passionate (creative title, I know), happens to be the most whipped guy on the face of the planet, and promises all kinds of stuff to this women that he loves. The woman, or nymph, in apparent true woman fashion, rejects the shepherd. (OUCH! That's gotta sting a little...) And then the poems are done. No death, no battles, no unnecessary suicides. Basically in a word: boring. But what they lack in any excitement whatsoever, they more than make up for in weird poetic types. You, see Passionate Shepherd is a pastoral poem, while the Nymph's Reply is, wait for it, anti-pastoral. But that's not what we're talking about. Who would win between them? Well, on the one hand, the shepherd but be quite charming, and he is a good, honest man. That should count for something, right? As for the nymph, I can't quite decide whether she is one of the very first feminists, or the biggest  gold digger around, I mean, she did reject the shepherd just because he didn't have any money or wealth. She claimed that it was because love was fleeting, but I think she wanted a excuse to reject his proposal. The one thing that we do not know, however, is what happened to these two people. Did the Nymph ever learn to love? Did the Shepherd ever find someone else?
And the winner is.....
The Nymph
She might not be the nicest person is the world, but at least he's not completely whipped like the Shepherd. Learn to stand up for yourself man!

Nymph vs. Lamb

How could you fight this?

Now it is time for probably the most tame battle ever, the nymph (an old-timey way of saying a girl) versus the cute little lamb, who you will remember destroyed the tyger with his sunshine,optimism and butterflies. The nymph is made of some slightly harder stuff, having rejected the shepherd because he was too poor, which was pretty cruel if you ask me. But, she could be seen as being more than just a parasitic gold-digger, she could be seen as an optimist, that see will have other, better opportunities that will come her way. So if you skew your perspective just a little bit (which I can, and will), this becomes more than just a battle of a girl and a lamb, it becomes a battle of optimism, and which version will prevail. I, know pretty deep right? If that makes your head spin a little, you can just pretend that this never even happened.....

So on the one hand (or hoof?) there is the pure, simpleness of the lamb, child-like and innocent but full of naivety, and on the other hand there is the ambitious optimism (or greed) of a girl trying to be upwardly mobile, trying to assert her own place (which Gloria Steinem would have appreciated) . Which will triumph?

And the winner is......

The Lamb

I'm sorry, but the nymph was too greedy to win this metaphorical battle, I don't care how I spin it, she was horrible to the shepherd, and there is no excuse for treating him like that, no matter how much ambition you may have ( There's a life lesson in there somewhere...). And anyways, one look at an adorable little lamb (Mary's perhaps?) and the nymph would send up a white flag in defeat.

And the Quarterfinals commence!

 Now that another 8 contestants have been left behind with only their tears to comfort them, we move forward into the mayhem that is quarterfinals! This is where things start to get interesting folks, so stay tuned!
The matches are as follows:
Gray vs. Milton
Ulysses vs. Geats
Satan vs. Lamb
Petrarch vs. Epic