Now that another 8 contestants have been left behind with only their tears to comfort them, we move forward into the mayhem that is quarterfinals! This is where things start to get interesting folks, so stay tuned!
The matches are as follows:
Gray vs. Milton
Ulysses vs. Geats
Satan vs. Lamb
Petrarch vs. Epic
4.3.10
Thomas Gray vs. John Milton
In one corner we have Thomas Gray, the brain behind the masterpiece Elegy in a Country Churchyard, the man who made us think about the people beneath those tombstones. In the other corner we have John Milton, son of composer John Milton (that's confusing...) and author of the epic Paradise Lost, which is as it's genre describes-epic. But which of these poets will emerge as victor and move on to the semi-finals? Well, Thomas Gray, while a very intelligent man, scholar extrordinaire, was not a very prolific poet. In fact, he only ever wrote less than 1000 lines of poetic verse (and no I don't know the actual number), where as Milton wrote thousands in Paradise Lost alone. Milton was also a very important member of Cromwell's government and had a lot of influence on a shaky, newly-formed republic. Both Gray and Milton attended Cambridge, which actually isn't that surprising given that England seems to only have 2 universities: Cambridge and Oxford. (or at least if you expect to be anyone in the English Lit world, that's where you must go!) And we know Gray is the resident expert on graves, where as there is no mention of a graveyard anywhere in Paradise Lost, which seems a bit of an oversight, considering the whole death of Jesus thing in it.
So.. Who would win?
John Milton.
Alright, so these two facing off is a bit like comparing a factory worker who only installs the windshield of a space shuttle to the astrophysicist who designed the whole thing. I'm certain that the factory worker is reallyyyyy good at assembling windshields, but the everyone knows that it's the astrophysicist who gets the credit. (In case you're unsure, Gray is the factory worker, Milton the astrophysicist.) And that's a science-y as it gets here, folks!
So.. Who would win?
John Milton.
Alright, so these two facing off is a bit like comparing a factory worker who only installs the windshield of a space shuttle to the astrophysicist who designed the whole thing. I'm certain that the factory worker is reallyyyyy good at assembling windshields, but the everyone knows that it's the astrophysicist who gets the credit. (In case you're unsure, Gray is the factory worker, Milton the astrophysicist.) And that's a science-y as it gets here, folks!
3.3.10
Ulysses vs. Geats
Going in to this match, the odds are heavily leaning towards Ulysses winning, the Geats appear to be weak without their Beowulf and the Ithacans(?) Ithacites(?), the army of Ithaca and their leader Ulysses seem more than able to crush them. So if you are a supporter of the Geats, I suggest you continue below for this could get mighty ugly. Not to say that the Geats aren't amazing warriors, obviously they have some skill if their army produced Beowulf, and they had a slight technical advantage of the bow and arrow (Ooooo... so high-tech). But the Geats are essentially Swedish, and unless I've seriously missed something, the Swedes aren't exactly known for their military might. Ikea and ABBA, sure, but no great warrior nation. Now the Greeks have a slightly better military track record; they did get invaded by the Romans, but then again so did everyone at some point. They main advantage Ulysses is going to have is his cleverness, as early Europe was at somewhat of a lull in learning and thinking. I mean, the Geats are not going to fall for the horse trick again, but surely Ulysses can think of something? Again, I'm going to assume that Ulysses actually makes it to his destination and doesn't make enemies with the wind or something...Who would win?
Ulysses
This was not a surprise. I told you what was going to happen. While Ulysses may have less men or a physically weaker army ( or I guess it would be a navy?), the Lit nerd writing this is going to believe that brain is better than brawn (sorry for the cliche...) Feel free to disagree (that rhymes!), but Ulysses is going to have to invest in a compass, because he is on his way to the semifinals!
2.3.10
Satan vs. Lamb
If you are currently reading this because you followed instructions and skipped to this entry because you couldn't stand to see the Geats lose, then I both applaud you for you devotion and recommend that you start seeing a therapist. If you are reading this because you are eagerly awaiting the results of this match, then I'll shut up and get to it.
Right, so as with its other battle, the lamb will not be harmed in any way, but rather we shall use the symbolism of the lamb to fight on its behalf. And what a battle it is! Satan, the root of all evil, versus the most innocent and precious of things. Part of me wants to say that the lamb should win since, even in the darkest times there is hope. (Pandora's box anyone?). But the other part of me is cynical enough to think that the idea of purity defeating evil is positively outrageous. People today are constantly bombarded with horrible, sad stories, and little is mentioned about the genuine good that does exist in this world. As we near the end of 2012, the top new stories are all about murders, deaths and general tragedy, with nothing mentioned about the good that came from hurricanes or school shootings. In previous articles, I have ensured that the lamb wins, because it is my personal belief that good should "win", that the generous side of human nature is more present than that considered "evil" or wrong. But for the sake of an argument, it would be difficult for me to let something as evil as Satan be defeated by mere innocence. It's what Adam and Eve had, and Satan corrupted it- the tendency of human nature to screw up but also the trait of curiosity and learning which defines who we are. And that's what Milton was trying to convey.
Who would win?
Satan.
The lamb had a very good run in the competition, but sadly his time was up. But next time you feel a little discouraged with the state of the world, look at pictures of lambs. I guarantee they will make you feel better!
Right, so as with its other battle, the lamb will not be harmed in any way, but rather we shall use the symbolism of the lamb to fight on its behalf. And what a battle it is! Satan, the root of all evil, versus the most innocent and precious of things. Part of me wants to say that the lamb should win since, even in the darkest times there is hope. (Pandora's box anyone?). But the other part of me is cynical enough to think that the idea of purity defeating evil is positively outrageous. People today are constantly bombarded with horrible, sad stories, and little is mentioned about the genuine good that does exist in this world. As we near the end of 2012, the top new stories are all about murders, deaths and general tragedy, with nothing mentioned about the good that came from hurricanes or school shootings. In previous articles, I have ensured that the lamb wins, because it is my personal belief that good should "win", that the generous side of human nature is more present than that considered "evil" or wrong. But for the sake of an argument, it would be difficult for me to let something as evil as Satan be defeated by mere innocence. It's what Adam and Eve had, and Satan corrupted it- the tendency of human nature to screw up but also the trait of curiosity and learning which defines who we are. And that's what Milton was trying to convey.
Who would win?
Satan.
The lamb had a very good run in the competition, but sadly his time was up. But next time you feel a little discouraged with the state of the world, look at pictures of lambs. I guarantee they will make you feel better!
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