So You're Convinced English Lit Isn't For You?

You are sitting there, in a dusty old classroom, thinking to yourself, "I have no idea what's going on" while your teacher is explaining to you what the difference between a Petrarchan and a Shakespearean sonnet is and all you want to do is shout
"WHO CARES!"The answer? Nobody, really. But the point is you have to know what the difference is, and you find it outrageously boring. Well, don't despair, for I will help! Instead of you trying to memorize the differences, I will explain by trying to determine, "who wold win in a fight Shakespeare of Petrarch?" and eventually,
What is the most EPIC part of lit?These battles will take place over the next few weeks, and before, the end of January we will know the ULTIMATE CHAMPION is. Not only will you know who the best Lit character is, you'll also have figured out most of the course, I guarantee it! Sooo, let's get ready to RUMBLE!!!

And We Start Off With...

Alright, so we will start off with pool A  which will take us all the way back to Anglo-Saxon times, and finish off around the 17th century. In this pool we will have 8 matchs:

Danes vs. Geats

Knight vs. Sir Gawain

Sir Graeme vs. Sir Thomas Wyatt 
Shepherd vs. Nymph

Robert Herrick vs. John Milton
Satan vs. Beowulf

Sonnet vs. Epic

Petrarch vs. Shakespeare

The winners of these will move on to compete in the next round, the losers will be out of the running for ULTIMATE LIT CHAMPION!

Danes vs. Geats

Who would win, the Danes or the Geats? Lets first do some background on the two. Both are types of peoples found in the Anglo-Saxon epic, Beowulf. The Danes are the ones being tormented by Gendel, and then Grendel's mom, and have to ask for help from the Geat (and epic hero), Beowulf. So I now what you're thinking, the Geats have Beowulf, so they win, like automatically, right? Nope. Its not that simple. because Beowulf is a hero of the most epic kind, unless the Danes did something to offend him, he probably would stay out of it ( or fight on whichever side he felt was the most right). So now that he's out of the way, lets look at the countries themselves. They are separated by a body of water of some kind, so the winner would need to be able to cross it, which we know the Geats can do, as evidenced by the crossing of Beowulf. The winners wold also need a pretty awesome leader, for the whole "rallying of the troops" tradition that's in every war movie. Ever made. In that aspect, the Danes take the lead. Hrothgar is awesome! C'mon, tell me you wouldn't want your king to build the people the equivalent of an all-you-can-drink bar, even if it is being terrorized by some giant, evil monster. Which brings me to my next point, an actual army. Grendel kind of ate some of the Danes best men, leaving the Danes, without some fierce warriors. However, the Geats also lost some men, the bravest and best soldiers that Beowulf took with him on his journey. Also, if you have a guy like Beowulf on your side most of the time, how strong is your army really going to be? If Higlac (King of the Geats) had any common sense, he would of let Beowulf deal with any problems, and basically let his army fall to pieces. Or it could make him have the strongest army since the Spartans, Hmm....
And the winner is...............
The Geats
Obviously. This is a no-brainer. How hard would it be to defeat a country which spends their time getting drunk? Really? Plus, they may all be like super strong and tough like Beowulf. Who knows?