Robbie Burns vs. William Blake

Now here we have, perhaps the most unfair match that I have ever cooked up. And I admit that freely and without guilt. On one side there is Robert Burns,also known as Rabbie Burns, Scotland's favourite son, the Ploughman Poet, Robden of Solway Firth, the Bard of Ayrshire and in Scotland as simply The Bard, and on the other side is William Blake, who today is considered a poetical genius, but had little of the success that Burns had. In fact, most people Blake was indeed, to use the cliche (sorry), mad as a hatter. If had to compare Blake to anyone in the world it would be Vincent van Gogh (whose last name is literally pronounced like you're  trying to cough up a hairball). Both were vastly unappreciated, passionate, talented, artistic, and reputedly crazy. To be fair though, Blake didn't cut off his ear or kill himself, but otherwise they are practically the same person. Blake wrote a fair few number of poems, the most well-known being Songs Of Innocence and The Lamb and The Tyger (yes spelled with a "Y", I already told you he was insane), and he helped to inspire the Romantic age. So basically if he was born, like 50 years later, he would be just as successful as say Keats or Shelley. And as for Robert Burns, well the name kind of speaks for itself, well that and the fact that he has his own holiday. But just for giggles, I'll tell you what he wrote: mostly poems about his native Scotland, notably To A Mouse, and To A Louse ( again, not making this up), and also helped inspire the Romantic poets. Oh, and he died when he was only 37, just like van Gogh. Weird...
Who would win?
Robert Burns

Burns wins, obviously, as far as this contest goes. But as for the best use of the English language that I can understand? Blake definitely would win. Sod off if you don't like it ye wee, sleeket, cowran, tim'rous beastie!

The Tyger vs. The Lamb

I suppose now's a good as time as any to start getting all metaphorical on you, so here we go! It has to do with 2 of van Gogh, I mean Blake's poems, called The Lamb and The Tyger. Lets begin with the obvious: The Lamb is written from the perspective of a child and talks about, well, a lamb, and The Tyger is written from the perspective of an adult about (you guessed it!), a tiger. But here's where the gray matter comes in to play, the lamb symbolizes innocence, the tiger, experience. So that's what going to battle it out tonight, because there is no way I'm going to make a lamb actually fight a tiger (even this is all in my head), PETA would kill me! Okay, so innocence, commonly associated with childhood, and usually happiness in what we have, not envying other for what they have. Untainted. Also unaware and susceptible to harm. Experience, means unhappiness, but also driven a to a goal, learned, but suspicious. May be unable to see the good in certain situations. The more I think, the more I realize that this is a very personal question. Should goodness and faith in humanity triumph, or is the world too tainted and broken to heal? What kind of character does humanity in general have? Idealist or realist? Is the glass really half-full or half-empty?
And the winner is....
The Lamb
The optimist in me won today. Many will disagree, but I would prefer to believe that for the most part, the general intent of the majority of people is good. Sure, there are a few who spoil it for everyone (like the majority of politicians), but the glass is half-full. Besides, have you seen how cute lambs are? 

Nymph vs. Lamb

How could you fight this?

Now it is time for probably the most tame battle ever, the nymph (an old-timey way of saying a girl) versus the cute little lamb, who you will remember destroyed the tyger with his sunshine,optimism and butterflies. The nymph is made of some slightly harder stuff, having rejected the shepherd because he was too poor, which was pretty cruel if you ask me. But, she could be seen as being more than just a parasitic gold-digger, she could be seen as an optimist, that see will have other, better opportunities that will come her way. So if you skew your perspective just a little bit (which I can, and will), this becomes more than just a battle of a girl and a lamb, it becomes a battle of optimism, and which version will prevail. I, know pretty deep right? If that makes your head spin a little, you can just pretend that this never even happened.....

So on the one hand (or hoof?) there is the pure, simpleness of the lamb, child-like and innocent but full of naivety, and on the other hand there is the ambitious optimism (or greed) of a girl trying to be upwardly mobile, trying to assert her own place (which Gloria Steinem would have appreciated) . Which will triumph?

And the winner is......

The Lamb

I'm sorry, but the nymph was too greedy to win this metaphorical battle, I don't care how I spin it, she was horrible to the shepherd, and there is no excuse for treating him like that, no matter how much ambition you may have ( There's a life lesson in there somewhere...). And anyways, one look at an adorable little lamb (Mary's perhaps?) and the nymph would send up a white flag in defeat.

And the Quarterfinals commence!

 Now that another 8 contestants have been left behind with only their tears to comfort them, we move forward into the mayhem that is quarterfinals! This is where things start to get interesting folks, so stay tuned!
The matches are as follows:
Gray vs. Milton
Ulysses vs. Geats
Satan vs. Lamb
Petrarch vs. Epic